The Great Toilet Paper Debate

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Analysis:

This is a fluff story with no real informational value. As part of the "Real Life - Real People" series, it is meant to be more entertainment than hard news. the viewer should ask themselves, considering the limited air-time available for actual news, is it appropriate for news outlets to devote time to entertainment pieces. This question becomes particularly relevant when one takes into consideration some of the important local topics not covered by local media. Ironically, the subject of this story is calling for a public election to settle the question of which way to hang the toilet paper. This one story about a fictional toilet paper election represents more airtime than WZZM spent on all judicial and state board of education elections in 2004.

Story:

Newsreader 1 - A Grand Rapids man says he wants to settle the great American debate. Apparently I wasn't even aware of this, it's the great American toilet paper debate once and for all.

Newsreader 2 - I can't believe you weren't aware of this but he wants to know if more people hang their toilet paper over or under. WZZM's Phil Dawson introduces us to moderator of the t.p. debate in tonight's "Real Life.... Real People"

Bill Jarrett - That’s the Great American Headquarters right there.

Reporter - 79 year old Bill Jarrett says debate on the correct way to hang toilet paper started almost 150 years ago.

Bill - Next to the wall, or away from the wall. This argument has been going on since 1882 when roll toilet paper first came on the market. That’s when people found out there was two ways to hang it, and started arguing.

Reporter - Jarrett says people offer different reasons to explain their toilet paper hanging preference. Ease of use, hygiene, appearance. He wants to end the arguing by establishing the correct way through election. Settling the toilet paper question the same way we chose political leaders.

Bill - My goal is to settle this thing once and for all. Nobody right now knows if they’re going to - if they are hanging it right or not, see? So I want to have a national toilet paper hanging way.

Reporter - Over or under, against the wall or away from the wall, Jarrett says in his research he's found very few people who don't care how their toilet paper is hung.

Bill - The people get mad when they go into, maybe their home, and someone has replaced the spool, the empty spool and they put it on the wrong way you know, it irritates them. There are very few people who don't care.

Reporter - A call from talk show host Jay Leno is one of many media inquiries Jarrett says he's getting about the toilet paper debate. He says majority rule is the only way to establish the correct way to hang t.p. To participate sent in for a five dollar ballot kit.

Bill - And somebody had to do this sooner or later. And it's a fun thing, you know and we could use a little fun.

Reporter - In Wyoming, Phil Dawson, WZZM 13 news.

Newsreader 2 - Toilet paper voting kits are available to order or you can go online to news links at wzzm13.com. And you were one of the few people who doesn’t care.

Newsreader 1 - I don't care. And I don't even know. I mean, when I put it on the wall, I just put it however it goes or maybe somebody’s been changing it in the home all these years, I'm not even aware.

Newsreader 2 - Oh, it has to be over because it looks better and I am irritated when I go somewhere and it’s under.

Newsreader 1 - I'm just hoping this isn’t a big deal for my wife who's finding out now that I don't really care.

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About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Media Mouse published on April 12, 2005 1:28 PM.

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